Marital (cough) relations

I wonder how many relationships break down in the first year or so after the birth of a child? I’m guessing a lot. If I could be bothered to google it then I’m sure I’d find some convincing statistics but who needs statistics when there’s Facebook? Eh? I hear you cry. Let me explain,  I had what some may call a misspent youth, and what I personally call being a bit of a slapper at university. Though I met my now husband in the months after graduation, I continued to cultivate an air of general sluttiness which still continues to this day (though it is now somewhat hampered by never leaving the house without T attached to my boob, and the few remaining clothes I can get into being accessorised with baby sick).

Anyway, over the years a number of exes/ brief dalliances/ random men I once halfheartedly flirted with have looked me up out of the blue on Facebook and the one thing that they have all had in common was that they had become fathers in the last 18 months. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Now, I’m not saying that fatherhood automatically turns all men into cheating cocknobs or justifying those who do start scouring the internet for some extramarital jollies but having now become a mother I can sort of understand why it happens.

The truth is that motherhood has turned me into a bit of a bad-tempered bitch with a real knack for passive aggression and bugger all interest in having sex with poor husband anytime soon. I have problems feigning even the minimum amount of interest in how his day was, can barely conceal my disdain for his nappy changing/baby dressing technique and swan off to bed with T at 9pm every night. Of course, motherhood doesn’t turn every woman into a libido-less nag like me but if I was married to me, I might be tempted to start to indulge in litttle fantasies of uncomplicated flirtation too.

Aaaarrgggggg. Now having a moment of major self doubt. Is it wrong to publish this? Feel somehow disloyal to my sex admitting these things.


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